I'll Always Choose You
by Sakaro Devanti Foresta
Summary: My take on Ursa's thoughts when the Barbics came to Ursalia in search of the ultimate weapon.


_**I'll Always Choose You**_

* * *

 **D** _eep down I probably knew that I was being reckless, but my anger blinded me. Those wretched humans had taken away all we had. Our home, our lives, our families, our safety. All of it was now reduced to ash, and even if I wanted to so badly, I knew I could never take back what my little Buddi had seen and the hurt he now felt but hid from me so well. The dicision to hunt down the ultimate weapon in the former city of Ursalia was a poor one on my part - it did nothing but put my bears in danger..._

It had taken a week for us to travel to Ursalia, get settled for our stay, and get some very basic defenses set up. Our stay wasn't even a day in before I'd received the news that trespassers had been caught. This alarmed me to some extend, although I would never have shown it. I think Gritty may have known, we were friends for a very long time now and I was never able to slip one past him.

I was worried that it may have been the humans that invaded the Woods. They could have followed us. How could I've not thought about that? I had unintentionally put everyone at risk.

Thankfully, it wasn't the case. Rather, the trespassing group had been a handful of Gummies, who appear to be friends to the old knight who'd been left behind to care for the City. I put up a friendly front, of course, but their pressance still made me uneasy. Everyone knew what happened to the Ancients, but was this really all that was left in this side of world?

We had a feast, although my unease didn't dim one bit. I was pleasantly surprised that Buddi had taken a immediate liking to the yellow girl named Sunni. He'd had no friends besides the trees before and it would do the boy good.

Over the meal the conversation drifted to where the Glens asked about our rather sudden decision to come to Ursalia. We explained as best we could without pouring too much salt in the fresh wounds. I consider the loss of Barbic Woods a personal failure as a leader. I know there was not much more that we could done but run but I wish it didn't have to be this way.

We needed extra hands in the movement against the humans, and at the time I believed that if our kind had truly waned as much as it appeared to then these Glen Gummies would have no problem joining arms with us as we take the world for ourselves.

I was wrong again.

They didn't understand.

To me it was more than just taking back my lifelong home. It was fixing my mistakes. It was taking away my friends' pain. It was making Buddi happy again. I can see better than anyone that the impact of our loss had hit my cub hard. This was the first time that he'd ever been so far from home, and there are no trees here, just cliffs and sand that frightened him.

I don't want to see my baby suffer this way. I want to take it back.

It appeared that Gritty agreed on my reasoning for the most part.

So we began looking for the ultimate weapon - our ticket home.

Although the credit of actually finding the horn goes to Buddi.

The Glens had been foolish enough to try and get in between us and the horn, making me see red as anger coursed through my viens. Who do they think they are? That horn was going to fix our problems. We have no right? We had plenty of right! And I believe I may have gravely misjudged these human lovers. I won't allow them to posion Buddi's mind. I won't let him become soft. You become soft you let you guard down and eventually you die. I don't want to lose my baby. Not him too. He's all I have left in this world...

The battle for the horn was a long struggle that took up all of the afternoon and lasted well into the night, but I have been in longer. The Glens obviously were no fighters and as midnight neared we had the horn in our possession. We were going home. Everything was going to be okay now.

That joy was short lived.

I cannot describe how terrified I was seeing my only child in the grasp of that human. My most precious treasure, gone and I was afriad I'd never get him back. The pure fear on Buddi's face was like a dagger to heart.

Oh, how I hated that human. I wanted him dead. I wanted him to pay for scaring Buddi senseless. He wanted the horn. Well, he'd have to get pass me first. I'd rather die than let it fall into his hands. I was about to use the horn to blast him sky high when the leader of the Glens, Gruffi, said something that jarred me to my senses for the first time in a week.

 _ **I might hurt Buddi. I might hurt my cub.**_

I may cause harm to the only person who made my life worth living. I may cause my baby to never want to look at me again. Him, the child whom I raised from birth, whose diapers I changed, who I fed and clothed, whom I taught to talk, walk and swing. The child who I played with, who made me laugh. I was about to lose him to my own selfish actions.

That left me with only one other choice. We had to give the human the horn.

One would think that after I reacted so strongly just mere moments before I'd still be dead set against the idea. But I see no other way that we could get back my boy safely. I admit that it was a hard choice - my former home or my son. But I don't regret my decision. If I had the chance to redo it I'd always choose Buddi.

Why?

Yes, I'd miss home dearly but you have to understand that without my Buddi it won't feel like home anymore. I'd imagine that I would have changed a lot should I go back without him. I love him. He's my son.

We had to fight to get Buddi back. Being tricked like that made me make another mistake that I can never take back, this one nearly costing me Gritty, my best friend. But it made me realize something for the better. That horn had more power than I can ever trust myself with. It needed to be destroyed.

I know now that we'll never be able to return home. I made my peace with that. We'll stay here in Ursalia, it's location too isolated to be discovered. Here everyone will be safe. Including my little Buddi. It will take time to heal but we are strong. We will make it. We lost too much already.

"In the end I will always choose you."

Bright eyes light up with love and the tiniest amount of shock, and I worried when tears shot into the child's eyes. Did I say something wrong? But then the little arms were around my neck and I was pulled into a tight embrace. I froze, them gently hugged him back. I knew I did the right thing in being honest in my answer.

Don't ever forget this, little one. Without you, I would never be the same without you.


End file.
